Monday, July 27, 2009

A Big Pile of Blah.

Today, I'm feeling completely uninspired, unmotivated, unfocused and uninteresting. This malaise is lingering a bit longer than is comfortable. Despite the sunny and warm weather of recent days, I spent most of my weekend alone...inside...on the couch...doing nothing.

It's funny writing a blog because you are able to present your most interesting and dressed up self to the world. There's no fear of someone catching you without makeup in a ponytail, hoodie, fat jeans and flip flops. I can pretend I'm always dressed to the nines in pretty shoes with perfect hair in an incredibly stylish city. The problem arises when there is a major disconnect between what I feel and what I want to portray.

So, today is a no make up, giant zit on forehead, frizzy hair, no plans to leave the couch, sweatpants, eating ice cream out of the carton kind of day. And it feels lately like I'm having more days like this than not. It's frustrating that, in the midst of this despair, there's not a quick fix. While medication helps over the long haul, it's not the immediate gratification of taking an ibuprofen to cure your headache in 30 minutes or less.

What's worse is that I feel like I have no reason to be this down. I have a good job, a great husband, a nice home, amazing friends, good health, a supportive family, etc. Feeling guilty about your self pity never seems to help the situation. On a day like this, I'm so thankful for my husband who, even though he has never experienced a day of depression, is always sympathetic even when it's not the easiest thing to be. On second thought, I'm also thankful for the leftovers in my fridge at home! At least sitting inside all day did give me time to make some incredibly yummy food. I guess there's always a bright side after all.

Fresh Fig Tart with Rosemary Cornmeal Crust and Lemon Marscapone Cream...not to brag, but I think mine is prettier than the pic on Epicurious. On a more serious note, you should make this now. It's amazing.

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